2017 was the year I wanted to forget and erase from my
memory, up until my faith in humanity was restored while studying abroad
in Thailand in a course called Buddhism and Conservation. The simple title of
this course fascinated me as soon as I read the course description. The idea of
religion and conservation merging to serve a common purpose is exactly what I
needed at this exact moment in my life. This past year I have literally been in
survival mode. Though my sister says we should focus on thriving, I just wanted
to learn to live again and start over. It has been a long time since I felt
true happiness, and on this journey in Thailand, I smiled with my eyes and my
heart. I did not just take a class, I learned about myself.
One of the first places we visited was Abhaibhubejhr
Hospital. This hospital combines modern and traditional medicine. At this
hospital, we were reminded of the importance of transferring knowledge from generation
to the next, a core theme to follow us throughout the course. Afterwards
we visited an organic farm that provides herbs to the hospital for holistic
medicine practices and were taught that being together with family is how you
attain true happiness. 
My adventure in Khao Yai National Park started when I was
overwhelmed by the beauty of the grass fields and evergreen forest. We hiked
through the national park searching for a flock of great hornbills (Buceros bicornis)
and other wildlife. Hornbills serve the
ecological role of reseeding degraded forest. One of my favorite things about
hornbills is their romantic courtship. The males will travel far and wide to
bring the females the most perfect piece of food, and even if she throws it out
of the nest because she did not think it was good enough, he goes back out in
search of another perfect piece of food for her. The males even help clean out
chick poop from the nest.
During our reflections at the waterfall I could not help but
notice the big waterfall was formed by many small trickles of water coming
together into one large waterfall. We can be the change and set the example for
showing how small things can contribute to the big picture. This also reminded
me to be thankful. My kids and I have been treated so well and are so fortunate. I have so much gratitude to my friends and family always coming together
for the three of us.
Leaving for this trip gave me anxiety because I was afraid to be
alone with my thoughts during meditation. I experienced anxiety more
than once while practicing meditation. During our stay at Wat Pa Sukhato, a forest
monastery, Phra Paisan picked a spot in the forest for us to practice the
medication techniques we have learned. This exercise is one that I feared, and I
learned that paying attention on purpose is hard. Mindfulness is hard. Phra
Paisan says there is a need for physical and mental presence, inner peace,
and inner silence to achieve a personal connection with nature.
One of the activities we participated in was planting trees
to reforest an area with Phra Paisan that was devastated by fires. Instead of
placing blame on who started the fires, the whole community came together
bringing seeds to plant and volunteering their time. The concept is simple,
just be a good person.
I have always viewed flowers as a symbol of beauty, but in
Thailand they are seen as a symbol of impermanence. The lotus, in particular,
is a symbol of resilience. These symbols give us hope that our struggles and
suffering are also impermanent. I did not want to come home from Thailand and immerse
myself back into my hectic daily life. I was afraid I would forget everything
that I had learned. Amidst the chaos of everyday life, I try to remember what I
learned in Thailand and share a SAM (Silent Appreciation Moment) with my kids.
I remind myself to stop living automatically and to be present, mindful, and
just breath in the air to reconnect with nature and bring my mind back to my
body. Kindness and compassion go a long way. Be present and surround yourself
by loved ones. Have the courage to refuse things that are not important. If you
can learn to just let things go, you will find happiness and peace. I try and
incorporate mindfulness in my everyday life, even while washing the dishes. My
class in Thailand ended beautifully with me being able to share my next
adventure there with my two boys. 
To say
"what I learned in Thailand changed my life" would be an understatement. I am so
thankful to have been at the right place at the right time in my life. We are
the leaves of one tree, and all of us have our struggles and sufferings, and we
should do our best to show gratitude, kindness and compassion in all aspects of
our life.
"We are the leaves of one tree.
We are the waves of one sea.
The time has come for us to live as one.
We are the stars of one sky."
